The Co-op Tales: ONION!

Last weekend, I had the fortune of hanging out with one of my best friend from high school. Laha (his nickname) and I have been friends for over 13 years. There were times where we were out of each others lives, but over the years we have reconnected. This year, I am trying to host more hang outs at my house, since I now have the space and resources. It amazes me that after all these years (and now that we are all almost close to our thirties *rip*) we can just hang out and be goofy without our parents trying to get us to do something else instead of playing video games.

The original plan that day was for him and my brothers to come and hang out for the day. My brothers could not come unfortunately, so it was just Laha, my wife, and myself. This did not stop us from having a good time since we had all the entertainment we needed. I was in the middle of playing Dark Souls 3, so I got to show off my sick cool moves on how to die in different ways. After that, we decided to increase the chaos by playing New Super Mario Bros Wii U Deluxe Special Edition Gaiden Arcade Edition 2: Electric Boogaloo Featuring Dante from Devil May Cry with Funky Mode & Knuckles. I still believe a game like classic Mario was not meant to be played with four people, but it does make for a chaotic time.

But do you know what is more chaotic than that? Mario Maker.

After getting past the first world in NSMBWUDSEGAE2EBFDDMCFMK, we switched over to Super Mario Maker 2 and played each other’s levels. Once again, adding multiplayer to classic Mario is a chaotic time. We told each other that we would have to create new levels in order to top the craziness that we have already unleashed to the world.

Give Laha’s level a shot!

The real MVP of the evening however went to a little game called Overcooked. If you have not played Overcooked before, it is a cooperative game where you have to work together to fulfill customer request. Each stage has you preparing something different or adds new items to the menu as you progress. It is everyone’s job to work as a “team” in order to get a high score in order to advance. The first two stages are simple enough and allows players to get the hang of things and to assign roles. After that, good luck trying not to kill each other.

By stage 1-3, we had gotten the hang of working together and working at optimal pace. When it came time to splitting the room apart and us going back and forth, that was when the real fun began.

I will now provide a transcript of how we communicated to each other:

Cat: We need an onion!

Laha: Onion!

Me: Onion!

Cat: Onion!

Me: Onion on the floor!

Cat & Laha: ONION! ONION!

Cat: What is this mushroom in here!? I need ONION!

Me & Laha: ONION! ONION!

Cat: No! We need tomatoes for tomato soup!

Laha: ONION!

Cat: NO! TOMATO!

Laha: #$&#%^@&

Me: $*&#%#*&$

Cat: STOP CUSSING IN THE KITCHEN!

Laha: *send soup out* Here you go $^#%#&

Cat: WHERE IS THAT TOMATO!?

Laha: KITCHEN ON FIRE!!!

Cat: I NEED A BURGER WITH THE WORKS!

Me: *chopping meat* I’M BEATING THE MEAT IN HERE!

Laha: PLAIN JANE COMING UP! VEGGIE BURGER! $*#(^%@$(*#^@

Cat: I NEED AN ONION!

Me & Laha: ONION!

Cat: ONION

All: ONION! ONION!

This continued for the rest of the night. I love these people ❤

The Co-op Tales: The Ice Pigeon

With the release of Pokémon Sword and Shield approaching, I felt like telling a story that happened to my wife while we were playing Pokémon Let’s Go Pikachu and Let’s Go Eevee!  I will warn you in advance that in order to keep the authenticity of the story, strong language will be used later in the story. If the thought of someone cursing out an imaginary creature will upset you, then I suggest censoring out the words with your own creative ones; like “Frick” or some shit like that.

Toward the end of our playthrough after beating all of the gym leaders, we decided to take the time to finish up some side things and catch any Pokémon that we were missing. This included the trial of catching the three legendary birds; Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres. We decided to go after Articuno first because it was the most difficult to get to and it literally has “uno” in its name. I got to the Seafoam Island first, meaning I had to set the bar on who was better at catching all the legendries (spoiler alert, it was me!).

I solve the bolder puzzle and reach the platform where Articuno laid waiting (or flapped waiting). I was able to weaken it quickly with my partner Pikachu, who I named Raichu during my playthrough. Then came the time to capture it. I threw my first ball, failed. Second ball, failed. Third ball, success! After three attempts, I was able to the icy bird as my own; now it was my wife’s turn to try and do better for bragging rights.

She makes her way to the island, solves the bolder puzzle, and faces off against her foe. She weakens the bird down and proceeds with her first catching attempt; failed. She throws another ball and it fails; then another and then multiple ones after that. You can see where this is going. My wife started the battle off with around 100 ultra balls and burned through those like cheap batteries. Around this point she starts to get mad and starts to lose it a bit. She started to beg and plea with the fowl deity to please submit to her and its force imprisonment. But like any good mystical creature, it told her to fuck off. This, like anything stupid I do, pissed her off.

The following are some of the phrases that she muttered to herself while desperately fighting a battle she was losing hard:

”Get in the damn ball you stupid bird!”

“Why won’t you be a good bird and go in your cage?!”

“Guess what you fucking bird? I like Moltres better than you! THAT’S RIGHT! I SAID IT!

“*Sob* why won’t you just stay in the ball….”

“get…in….THE FUCKING BALL!!!

At this point she had no idea that I was recording her hardships.  She vowed that once she caught it she would give it a suiting name; a high honor since she never nicknames her Pokémon. After a long hard fought battle, with many groans and F bombs dropped, she ran out of balls. Instead of restarting the game to right before the battle began, she left the cave to go buy more balls and restart the battle out of pure spite. Many balls were thrown again and each were meet with the same results. Then finally when she was down to her normal pokeballs, the ice in the cave defrosted (which cause the islands to submerge underwater due to the increased water level) and she caught the Pokémon.

Upon catching the mighty beast, she kept her promise and gave it an appropriate nickname, Stupid Fucking Ice Pigeon.

She demanded proof or it didn’t happen.

And thus concludes the tale of my wife and the ice pigeon. She hoped this was the last time she would ever see that monster again.

Later during the endgame, I was flying around looking for Pokémon in the sky when I happened to see a familiar face. A second ice pigeon decided to appear in front of me (apparently after you finish the game you can sometimes find legendary Pokémon just chilling anywhere) and I decided why the hell not. My wife, still suffering from her past trauma, glared at me and dared me to try catching it as easily as I did before. So I weakened it, throw out my first ball, and caught it on my first try.

To this day she has not replayed the game.

Thank for reading!